Do You Ever Wonder?

How did you turn out?  Are you a direct product of your parents?  A blend of them?  Definitely one?  Definitely not the other?  Do you find yourself saying things, then thinking "OMG, I sound just like my mother/father?"

I had my theories, but after spending 5 straight days - just me, my mother, my two little ones, and sometimes my (childless) sister, I find myself wondering... where did I come from?!  How did I (and my two siblings) survive childhood?  Is this what my kids are going to think of me when they grow up?

First off, please don't take this the wrong way.  I love my mother dearly.  But there is something about sleep deprivation, frustration from my post surgery limitations, a very busy "vacation" schedule, and 30 hours in a car with a 2 year old and 3.5 year old that bring out the worst in people. 

Seriously, before changing lanes (and during 30 hours there are several lane changes!) she would ask once, twice, sometimes more... "can I move over now?  How about now?  Is there a car there?"  Really?  Can you not see?  Although we had many things in the vehicle, there were no additional blind spots.  What do you do when you are in the car alone?!  Before I get into more driving issues, I would like to point out that my mother is not older.  Granted she is old enough to be a grandmother, she had me we she was in her early twenties and I was mid twenties when I started making babies.  Also, w

Top Ten Signs You Are Not A Parent

1. Thinking it's just a nap.  Skipping or delaying it for a few hours shouldn't be that big of a deal.
   ~ Real parents know there is nothing more sacred than nap/bedtime.  Obey the law at all costs! 
    
2. Giving the stink eye to a mother of a screaming 2 year old in public.
   ~ Real parents give looks of sympathy as the mother is assaulted physically and verbally to the best of the pint sized terror's ability.

What Haunts You?

What haunts you?  Spiders, regrets, the most obvious... ghosts?  Maybe.  What haunts me?  Perfection.  And let me let you in on a little secret...  It's unattainable, but this doesn't stop me from trying.  I once had an acquaintance who was a psychiatrist ask me if I had OCD.  Umm, isn't that your call, Doc?  It was decided upon that I was not OCD.  I was me.  Plain, simple, perfectionistically crazy.

Surprisingly enough I don't mind skipping the brush and pulling my hair back in a hair tie, wearing yoga pants and my husband's old t-shirts, and heading out into the big, bad world without a lick of makeup on - for some reason this does not bother me one bit.  But I assure you that my house is (typically) spic, span, and tidy.  My socks/panties/bras are all neatly folded and their respectable drawers, which are impeccably organized.  My little people are dressed up, matching, and hair is done, even when we are just slumming around the house.

This perfectionism was a blessing and a curse during school.  My grades were generally quite good, but how much extra time did I spend tweaking and obsessing over little things that probably translated to minimal contributions to my final grades.  Maybe this isn't true.  For my final final I decided to skip studying.  Why waste my time?  This grade did not carry enough weight to bring my overall grade down (or up) to change my final GPA.  This final would have no bearing on me getting or not getting future employment.  So what's the risk, right?  I let go.  It felt great, yet immensely uncomfortable at the same time.  And do you know what?  I bombed that test.  Lowest grade ever.  But.  It.  Didn't.  Matter.  The world kept spinning.  I still graduated.  Life goes on.

I need to get better at realizing what can go and what can't.  And while many people may say most things can go, I recognize that I am most comfortable in a world that is clean and organized.  I cannot will not let that go.  Actually, I am going to look into getting a few additional hours each day.  I think most would agree with me that this would be the best solution.

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Writing Prompts from:



Goals for Summer 2011

1. New Job - I am not currently unemployed.  I am not in a job that I hate.  Actually I love my current job.  Why the job search then?  Well, I spent many years and tears working on my Master's, and although I am happy and comfy where I am now, it is time to move on and grow... And when I talk about bigger and better things, I am (of course) referring to my paycheck (hopefully!).

2. Lose Weight - Last November I hopped on the Weight Watchers weight loss train.  Choo!  Choo!  I was a star member dropping 18 lbs by mid January.  Then I went on vacation and I've been on that vacation ever since.  Fortunately I have not gained any of the weight back, but I have not been able to successfully get back in to it.  I'd like to drop another 20 lbs.

3. Musical Rooms - I want to move my son into the spare bedroom, move my daughter into my son's room.  I think that transition is ambitious enough, but I do have more plans for afterwards...  We've been in this house for 7 years.  It's time to mix things up.  I'm getting ansy!

4. Mini Man's 4th Birthday Party - I am not one of those moms who throws fabulous parties.  I am one of those moms who wants and tries to throw those parties.  So, although fabulosity most likely won't be achieved, I would like my son to think his party was pretty awesome.  He wants a shark party this year.

5. Fun Family Vacation - Shockingly we do not have any family vacations planned right now.  Because of the job search everything is so up in the air - money, schedules, etc.  I hope that this doesn't rule our summer and we find a way to have at least one (or two) awesome summer getaways!

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My First Working Mommy Wednesday!