"K" as in "Knife"

Have you seen The Hangover Part II?  Well, this post's title is a little shout out to the movie; a line I stole from it.  I have to say, the hubs and I did not find the first Hangover movie that funny.  Perhaps it's because everyone else in the world saw it before us and could not help but build it up to be the funniest movie ever (which, albeit hilarious, is not the funniest movie of all time).  Perhaps it's because we were severely sleep deprived with a 1 month and 21 month old at home and I had to pump in the car during our little outing to the drive in.  Or perhaps it's because we were in a terrible mood after having watched the first movie in our drive in line up... "Year One."  (that was the most painful 97 minutes of my life... and mind you I had just given birth to an eight pounder with her hands above her head.)

Anyhow, despite our disappointment in the first Hangover, we felt compelled to see the sequel as it takes place in Bangkok - the very place we had spent an amazing 10 days this past January.  It would be like reliving our little adventure.  Seriously, if you have time, energy, and cash - go to Thailand.  It truly is amazing.  In addition, you should go see The Hangover II.  It is also well worth your time.  But this movie has nothing to do with today's post, just the title.  Man... can I get side tracked, or what?!

I have decided on my first "theme" day.  I am often told that many enjoy the little tidbits from my daily life in facebook statuses, tweets, and little stories I force those around me to listen to.  I find that fact is typically stranger and more entertaining than fiction.  You know, those little stories that you hear and think "you can't make this s@#$ up!"  Hopefully my Tuesdays don't involve many of those stories, but I can guarantee they will contain many "Kids Say the Darndest Things" moments -just like today's!

So here it is... My first "True Story Tuesday"

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My son is sitting at the table, refusing (yet again) to touch even a piece of his dinner.  He comes up with a plethora of reasons why he can't or should not have to eat, and then hopes to carry one of these reasons far enough on a tangent to distract us, skip eating dinner, and get outside to play some more.  The one he is currently working on involves a theory that the steak he is being asking to eat is too large to fit in his mouth.  Now mind you (per his request earlier in the meal) his meat is already cut up into microscopic pieces... any smaller and the meat would be considered a puree.

Mini Man: Mom, can I have a knife?

Mean Mom: No.

Mini Man: Why not?

Mean Mom: (sarcastic tone) Because you are three!!

Mini Man: (nervous laugh) Oh, I forgot.  (well played pause) So, can I have one when I am four?

Mean Mom: No, buddy.  I think we will hold off on knives for a little longer...

True story.  Took place in my dining room just 24 hours ago.  Never a dull moment.

Beach Bums

On our road trip to visit my sister, we had an opportunity to go to the beach.  Aside from vacation, we do not typically get to the beach very much.  We have beaches in our area, but not real nice ones.  I think the last beach the kiddos were on was in the Dominican Republic about a year ago.  That was a tough since little lady was not yet walking, we had two in diapers, and (in case you didn't know) vacation with a one year old and two year old is not a real vacation.

Mr. Man:  In love with all things sand, sun, and sea.

Little Lady: Loved touching the sand. Not a fan of sand touching her.

Contemplating vacation for next year I was envisioning a cruise.  The husband wanted a Caribbean all inclusive.  After the immense fun the little ones had during their brief visits to the beach, I think our family vacay next year will be spent plopped on a beach somewhere.  Any recommendations?

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Inspired by Mama Kat's

Out of Commission

Last week I had (gasp) surgery to take care of a pesky cyst in my wrist.  As a result I have been without the use of my dominant hand.  I should be incapacitated for 2-4 weeks.  Not too severe, just enough to be annoying.  Just for fun, try putting on jeans, doing your hair, changing a poopy diaper while using one hand... your non-dominant one.  Slightly frustrating.  In addition to this, I traveled four states away to visit my sister who complains that I never bring my kids to visit her.  During a car ride that should take roughly 10 hours one way, my brood easily added another 50% on to that time.  I think the kiddos and I sufficiently made the point to my mother and sister that one single person making that trek will have a significantly easier time than two adults with two children who have never really enjoyed car rides.  I still don't get people who have children who sleep during car rides.  Well, I guess I get it, I'm just insanely jealous of it.  What else did I take away from this experience?  Loads of ideas.  Aside from the difficulty of hunt-peck typing, I am hoping to be able to post more routinely!

Guarding Lives

"It builds character." 

"It prepares you for the real world."

"It teaches you the value of a dollar."

"It teaches you how to manage money."

"You will learn responsibility."
"Because I said so."

These are all the reasons that I was bombarded with when my parents thrusted me into the working world.  Truth be told, I knew it was coming.  As long back as I could remember, my mom would point out the local pool.  She would tell me that 'those kids' (lifeguards) barely work and get paid so much money.  The summer I turned fifteen, I was enrolled in the lifeguarding course.  I didn't question it.  I didn't fight it.  That's what I was born to do.  Or at least that's what I was lead to believe growing up.  And you know what?  It was a pretty sweet deal.

I continued to work as a lifeguard for 6 years, the majority of those years I worked at two different municipal pools.  This translates to 12 hour weekdays, five days a week - 6 hours at one pool, a 10 minute drive, then 6 more hours at the second pool.  Then on the weekends I would work 8 hour shifts, pool #1 on Saturday, pool #2 on Sunday.  And this is the schedule I kept mid June until the end of August.  Quite the rigorous work schedule for a high school/college student?  Well, one might say yes, but it wasn't all work.  First of all our 'adult supervision' was slim to none.  Brilliant move.  Teens left to their own devices.  In a position of authority.  Secondly, we were all friends, so basically it was like being paid to hang out with your friends all day.  Finally, we were learning about life!  Preparing for the big world out there.

Ok, so now some of you are getting nervous about the safety of the children.  Let me assure you, they were well taken care of.  It may have been unconventional, but definitely a good time for all parties involved.  Let me also point out that if you were that concerned you would have also been there to watch your children.  I'm talking to you, parents who would drop off your four children for the day armed with a towel, a tub of peanut butter, and four spoons!  Yep, true story.  You can't make this stuff up. 

Yes, of course, we saved some sinking kids that bobbed out a little too far.  Treated bee stings.  Bandaid-ed boo-boos and scraped knees.  Taught a few kids how to swim.  Shouted "WALK!!!" four hundred and seventy times a day through our awesome megaphones.  Seriously though... just walk!!

So what did I learn, besides how to have a good time?  I could start a whole other blog just about the practical jokes.  It was non-stop.  You always had to be on your toes, suspicious of your 'friend.'  Lock your car doors.  Hide the keys.  Keep your food safe.  All while scheming your next prank!  Anyways, I learned:

• Kids don't care how cold it is, they always want to swim. 
• The six summers I lifeguarded it rarely thunder (out of the pool!).  Now that I have two kids and two dogs afraid of thunder, it happens practically every day.
• Although poop and puke are just as effective (some may argue even more so) as thunder and lightening at emptying a pool - someone has to clean it up.  (finger on nose) "Not it!!"
• Even though they look similar, salt and sugar are not interchangeable in a grasshopper pie recipe - ok, I already knew that, but another girl, with good intentions, found out the hard way.  Really?  You thought that you would have good results?
• Make good and sure you have the correct car in a parking lot before you cover it in ketchup, mustard, and toliet paper.  Ok, another lesson I didn't learn personally, but I had an awesome time watching two 'colleagues' learning this.
• Teach the big kid swim classes in the morning - that way you don't have get in when it's so cold!
• Kick boards work better than a broom when trying to move a massive puddle.

• Unless you attach the inner tubes to one another, they will not effectively stay together while rolling someone down a hill in them.

• The most important thing I took away from this experience?  Everyone should encourage their kids to become lifeguards.  Let's face it.  My mom was right.  We got more than minimum wage and the work we did wasn't all that bad.

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This was my first time participating in Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop!  Yeah!  I've wanted to do this for some time now.  It was a lot of fun and it gave me the perfect excuse to dig up some pics from the good old times!  You should try it too!

I keep up with current events via Facebook.

It's true.  I am uninformed, uneducated, and uncivilized.  I'd like to blame it on the little kiddos, but it's not their fault.  I've never been one to read the newspaper or watch the news on a regular basis.  Now that my television exposure consists primarily of DVR'd sitcoms, Glee on Netflix, and children's network programs, I miss what little tidbits of current events I used to see when forced to watch commercial television advertising their nightly news programs.  Even in the car I will station hop frantically to avoid breaks in music.  When it comes to current events, if Moose A. Moose and Zee aren't talking about it and my Facebook friends aren't talking about it I am typically blissfully unaware.  And let's be honest, if it's significant enough, Facebook will be talking about it.  I am not completely disconnected.  Every once in a while I will catch some news on MSN.com, when waiting for the weather report on a news channel, etc.  But in general, I am pretty clueless.

Let me elaborate:  Recently there was a Royal Wedding.  I am sure you heard about it.  All I heard from friends and colleagues was how this event was hijacking the media, they didn't hear about anything else.  Blah, blah, blah.  I avoided it.  Almost entirely.  And it's not because I am still denial that I am not as gorgeous at Kate Middleton, or because I haven't totally accepted that I will not be a real life royal princess, or that I am taking Prince William's hair loss harder than he is.  Seriously though, growing up I thought he was sooo dreamy.  The perfect Prince Charming.  And nothing against balding, exactly, but it's a reality check.  When did he get so old?  When did I get so old?

I digress.  The point?  I avoided the wedding hullabaloo until mere hours before the magical wedding.  When, while flipping through channels - most likely to avoid commercials - TLC had a special on.  Charles and Di's wedding.  My not yet two year old daughter caught a glimpse of a real live princess riding in a horse drawn carriage and squealed with joy.  "Princerella!"  We ended up watching the entire 2 hour special and DVRing Wills and Kate's big event as well.  Suckered in!  Had it not been for that I would have avoided it. 
So last night - I was getting ready to head to bed.  One last visit to Facebook.  All of a sudden posts began popping up about Bin Laden's alleged demise.  Could it be real?  I googled it.  I found an article about Bin Laden's death.  Something about an untreated lung condition.  Anti-climactic, but it's an end I suppose.  Then I realized it was dated 2001.  Still more and more statuses kept popping up.  I head to bed and decide to turn to a news channel.  Sure enough tickers abound with claims of his death.  The White House in the background.  Crowds chanting, awaiting Obama's speech.  It is true, they claim.  He is dead.

It's time I face the truth.  I keep up with current events via Facebook.  But you know what?  I am okay with that.  Facebook declared it before any other website I (easily) could find, and I definitely think that's worth mentioning.  Several more posts popped up this morning.  People who discovered hours after me.  Many through Facebook.  I suppose this is just the world we live in.  And, until I can convince Nick Jr. to have a running ticker displaying current events and pop culture news, I will remain clueless.

The Dreaded First Post

Whoa.  The first post.  Better make it a good one, right?  Oh the pressure.  Well, unfortunately I have typed-deleted, typed-deleted, typed-deleted too many posts.  I can't find the perfect first post in my brain.  I suppose I should just start posting and eventually I will find my groove.

A little about me.  I am your typical first born, Type A, attention seeking overachiever.  I am a perfectionist  who is well aware that perfection is unattainable, but can't stop trying.  I am sarcastic.  I don't take myself too seriously, just seriously enough.  I am one of the most indecisive decisive peope in the world.  I am a fauxtographer armed with a DSLR and two adorable subjects at my disposal.  I love to travel.  In my spare time I scrapbook.  The last time I scrapbooked was over a year ago.  There's a slight chance I may be a drama queen at times, but I am pretty sure it's not me... it's everyone else around me.

Ok... well that's a start!